Super Bowl Saga—Second Quarter

I work on snacks
Hubby cooks chili
As traditions go
This one’s real silly
And fattening, too
If you must know
But that’s what we do
Every Super Bowl show
No matter who’s playing
We watch the game
Though my understanding
Of football’s quite lame
But there’s always dessert
To keep me involved
I guess it is good
That last call was solved
And now the half-time show
Is about to begin
Watching these games
Is no way to stay thin
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Sniffles and Sneezes

My throat is sore
My sinuses hurt
I’m wearing three layers
Under this shirt

My nose is running
I’m out of tissues
To name just a few
Of my current issues

Took Vitamin C
And got a flu shot
So why am I feeling
Like such total rot?

I’m a little perturbed
By this late winter bug
But that’s my excuse
To act like a slug

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A Snowman’s Saga

Three inches might not
Seem like very much
When it comes to blizzards
And snowstorms and such

But that’s what we got
And it didn’t seem fitting
To stay snug and cozy
Inside and sitting

With our condo parking lot
Blanketed in snow
And so we decided
To give it a go

It’s like riding a bike
We convinced ourselves
And quickly became
Snowman-building elves

He’s not very tall
But cute as can be
He has certain charm
As you yourself see

While taking his picture
We were not alone
Several folks did the same
Before he was gone

For we knew it not wise
To get too attached
To this little snowman
We had ourselves hatched

The Carolina sun
Did it’s job quickly
And our spunky snowman
Began to look sickly

By late afternoon
I was rather forlorn
Since all that was left
Was the hat he had worn

Carpe diem must be
The moral of this story
I do hope it wasn’t
Too sad or too gory

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Paul and Bob over BB-8

Star Wars is great
I intended to go
To see this sci fi
Blockbuster show

But this weekend offers
Another great choice
And middle-aged me
Just had to rejoice

Butch Cassidy and
The Sundance Kid
Back on the big screen?
Well that gets my bid

Thanks TMC
For presenting this chance
To see Paul and Robert
As Butch and Sundance

On the silver screen
As opposed to TV
Paul’s eyes, Robert’s grin
And all commercial free!

So I’ll have to see Star Wars
Some other time
And that is the gist
Of this week’s bad rhyme

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Whimsical Wednesday with Jim Jackson

Whimsical Wednesdays With Friends Welcomes Jim Jackson

Whether you got A’s in math or F’s you are in for a treat! The fabulous Jim Jackson, author of the amazing Seamus McCree Mysteries and mathematician extraordinaire, is also a world class poet! Take it away Jim…

Whimsical Math

Let’s talk numbers, you and me.
Six: it’s as perfect as perfect can be.
Take its divisors: one, two, and three,
Add them together: six again. See?

Can you find the next one all on your own?
No fair cheating: Googling on your phone.
No rolling your eyes and letting out a groan.
Here’s a hint: weight in pounds of exactly two stone!

A stone equals fourteen pounds, multiply by two,
Gives you twenty-eight; let’s see if it’s true.
One, two, four, seven, fourteen make up our queue.
Twenty-eight is their sum; perfect numbers, adieu.

Are you up for a math trick designed just for you?
Multiply the first digit of your age by five –please do!
Now add three to that sum and multiply the total by two.
Check your work carefully to avoid a boo-boo.

Time to please add your last digit into the mix.
Remember that perfect number – the first one, you know, six?
Subtract it from the total and your age should appear.
But really, you don’t look a day over twenty-one, my dear.

Just in case my math did not translate well,
I’ll do it myself, just so you can tell,
If the trick really works without a headache.
Here’s the arithmetic I would have to make:

Sixty-five is my age, so multiplying six by five
Equals thirty. Plus three is the next piece of jive.
That sum times two is sixty-six, to which I add five
For seventy-one. Now less six and <poof>, sixty-five!

Here’s a trick with number reversals you might know.
I’ll give an example to help you follow the steps below.
Take any three digits zero to nine
And reverse them in order to make our design.

So 567 becomes 765; no need to curse.
Subtract the smaller from the larger: 198 in this verse.
Now reverse that number (981) and add them just so:
I guarantee the result is 1,089. What do you know?

An asterisk is needed to make the rules clear.
Leading zeros are necessary to include, I fear.
Start with 028 and the formula will steer
You to 1,089, if to the rules you adhere.

028 from 820 (its reverse, do you see?)
Yields 792. Add 297 and 1,089 it will be.
If the difference in numbers is less than one hundred
The leading zero is needed (in case you wondered).

For example, 574 reversed gives you 475.
The difference (99) needs the zero to survive.
Reversed it’s 990, now add them together.
Once again 1,089. We’re rolling in heather!

I see your eyes glazing, so I’ll stop this whimsy.
I know the rhymes were forced, and the rhythm was flimsy,
But admit in the comments if you were entertained.
Or tell me if you think this whole thing was harebrained.

Published with Permission of the Author
All Further Rights Reserved

James M. Jackson (Jim) authors a series featuring the financial crimes expert Seamus McCree. ANT FARM (2015), a prequel to BAD POLICY (2013) and CABIN FEVER (2014), won a Kindle Scout nomination. BAD POLICY won the Evan Marshall Fiction Makeover Contest whose criteria were the freshness and commerciality of the story and quality of the writing. Jim has also published an acclaimed book on contract bridge, ONE TRICK AT A TIME: How to start winning at bridge, as well as numerous short stories and essays.

Long ago, in a galaxy far away, Jim earned a BS in Mathematics and an MBA concentrating in finance. His work would have bored most people, but he’s always enjoyed the playful side of numbers and language as his poem today demonstrates.

To find out more about Jim, his writing and how to contact him, check out his website http://jamesmjackson.com

So what do you think, folks? Jim really is a world class poet, huh? When I invited my fellow Kindle Scout winner to guest on my little old blog I had NO idea. I’m sure you enjoyed the rhymes and the number games as much as I did. If so, please leave Jim a message below, and by all means, buy the man’s books!! And I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say, Thank You, Jim!

A Progress Report

My creativity
Seems to happen in spurts
When the words won’t flow
It really does hurt

Two thousand fifteen
Did not go so well
It was like I was living
In a bad spell

I got stuck in the first draft
I got stuck on the plot
I got stuck on characters
I got stuck a lot

But two thousand sixteen?
With the words flowing fast
I sit down to write
And have fun! It’s a blast!

So Unexpected
May actually get written
Of this latest creative spell
I am indeed smitten

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Worst Christmas Poem Ever

I know it’s global warming
And therefore is badness
Environmentally this weather
Should make me feel sadness
But balmy Christmas temps
Only fill me with gladness

Record highs up and down
The whole Eastern coast
Is no valid reason
For anyone to boast
But for midwinter weather
I like it the most

It can snow all it wants
Some other week
With freezing cold ice
And forecasts all bleak
But for Christmas vacation
It’s this warmth I seek

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No Accounting For Taste

Pottery Barn kids
Or Pottery Barn teens
This is where
My taste leans

Perhaps this implies
That I’m immature
But it happened this time
Like it’s happened before

I needed new sheets
To put on my bed
I shopped around
But all roads led

Back to the kid stuff
With patterns so happy
All the adult sets
Weren’t nearly so snappy

I like pretty colors
Whimsy’s good, too
So here are my sheets
Bright, shinny, and new

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Bah Humbug

When Christmas approaches
The stores I avoid
Shopping-crazed crowds
Just make me annoyed

The Christmas tree hassle
I also don’t do
It takes too much space
And when you are through

All that undecorating
Needs to be done
Sorry, but I do not
Consider that fun

But before you decide
I’m a Scrooge through and through
One Christmas tradition
Each year thrills me anew

I like to take drives
To see Christmas lights
All the houses so happy
Now that’s a delight

I especially like families
Who go over the top
Like they started one day
And just couldn’t stop

I don’t try anything
Nearly so glorious
My balcony lights
Are not too uproarious

Just a simple statement
That I hope makes folks glad
And come undecorating day
I don’t have to be sad

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